


Left Handed

by GinHoshikuse



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Badly Written Smut, Eating Disorders, Just... Bad Things, M/M, PTSD, Self Harm, Shizaya - Freeform, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-30 21:38:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15760206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinHoshikuse/pseuds/GinHoshikuse
Summary: Shizuo hated Izaya, the sky is blue, 7+3=10. These are all facts. Here's another fact: Izaya didn't hate Shizuo.





	Left Handed

It was hard enough for Shizuo to concentrate on his job on a normal day in bustling Ikebukuro, but when you threw in a moody Varona, a police-paranoid Celty and most of all an overactive information broker, Shizuo was about ready to snap the street pole he was staring at in half (not that that'd be that big of a feat for him).  
Perhaps he was going mad from the lack of sleep he'd been getting fretting about what to get Kasuka for his 23rd birthday, but it seemed like he was seeing glimpses of Izaya's fluff trained coat or inky black hair out of the corner of his eye every five minutes. Tom snapped in front of the dyed-blond's face, eyebrow raised in what looked like cautious concern, pushing his glasses up. "You alright there, Shizuo? You've been spacing out for a few minutes now" the brunette observed, leaning back against the uncomfortable red plush of the fast food joint booth they were currently sitting in. Shizuo blinked behind his sunglasses and cleared his throat, taking a sip of his over-sweetened milkshake.

  
"Yeah... Just thinking of what to get my brother for his birthday" he dismissed. _Technically_ it wasn't a lie, he was still a little on edge since Kasuka's birthday was only a few short days away and he had no idea what to get his darling baby brother.  
"Kasuka huh?" Tom blinked and hummed, head resting on his fist. "Yeah that's a tough one alright..." He mused. He said something else but Shizuo wasn't paying enough attention to really care, his gaze drifting outside where he spotted the one and only louse he _really_ didn't want to see today standing on the corner of the next block over. Shizuo growled, standing up and trying his hardest not to crush the milkshake in his hand, settling for taking a few deep breaths to calm himself before clearing his throat. "Sorry, Tom-San" he interupted his boss "looks like I missed some trash to take out today." His voice was a little strained from coming out through clenched teeth and Tom sighed faintly, rolling his eyes and nodding.  
"Try to keep the damage to a minimum?" He requested, knowing Shizuo would pay him no mind, the blond already out the door and halfway across the street by the time he'd gotten through his sentence.

  
Shizuo growled, closing his fist around a nearby Give Way sign, ripping it from the ground with a growl as he stalked towards Izaya's form standing on the side of the road in front of an expensive sleek black car, Izaya speaking with the person inside.  
Now, contrary to popular belief, Shizuo wasn't one for collateral damage, so he decided to wait until the car had pulled away from the infuriating information broker before his grip on the sign tightened, bending the steel as if it were just mere aluminium in his grip, gritting his teeth together before hauling his arm back and tossing the sign at the raven with a loud "IIII-ZAAA-YAAA!!"  
So just a normal day in Ikebukuro.  
What wasn't normal was when Izaya didn't dodge the sign, his body jostling to the side into the small park with a painful sounding cough, the information broker struggling to get in a full breath as he stood back up, flicking his knife in his right hand. Shizuo's brow furrowed.  
"Shizu-Chan---"  
"What's with that?" Shizuo completely ignored Izaya's irritated tone, pointing to Izaya's hand, stunning the raven for a moment.  
"What's with what?"  
"Your hand, you're left handed aren't you? Why aren't you using your left hand?" Shizuo rose a brow and Izaya's arrogant mask dropped for a moment to reveal the sheer confusion and slight shock that the blond had noticed something stupid like that.  
Before Shizuo had a chance to take delight in Izaya's confusion, his mask was back up, glaring at Shizuo and holding his knife out to him. "You don't get to ask questions when you attack me when I'm just doing my job" Izaya huffed, wine coloured eyes narrowed.  
Shizuo, however, was still focused on Izaya's choice of brandishing his weapon, staring with intense focus on Izaya's left hand, the dominant hand hanging limp by his side, shadowed from the shade of a tree, though Shizuo could tell it was wet with something that he could barely smell with the overpoweringly bitter stench that was Izaya Orihara.  
He smelled blood, iron and minerals.  
Izaya was injured.

  
Shizuo frowned, a crease forming between his eyebrows. There was no way the louse was bleeding from Shizuo's attack, there'd been no open sharp edges on the sign to cause an injury that would cause blood. Izaya had been stabbed or slashed by something.  
"Oi you protozoan! Don't ignore me!" Izaya snapped, jerking Shizuo's brown eyes back up to meet Izaya's frustrated countenance.  
"You get yourself stabbed or something?"  
Izaya tensed slightly, his wine eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "Careful Shizu-Chan, it almost sounds like you care about my well being."  
Shizuo felt the hot knot of rage twisting in his stomach at the comment, fingers flexing by his side. He'd keep his cool, at least until he could worm an answer out of Izaya.  
"As if I would, I just care that some other asshole got to you first" he scoffed, eyes narrowed behind his sunglasses. Izaya gave a sort of wry smile and turned away from Shizuo, his hand still tight on the knife as he lowered it, ready to attack if Shizuo came at him.  
"How cute, you still think that you could hurt me" he mused, Shizuo growling under his breath.  
"You want to repeat that?" He sneered, hand closing against a metal play slide that was rooted to the empty park they were standing in. He reminded himself to keep his cool, Izaya still hadn't answered him, though it was becoming increasingly difficult when the raven knew exactly how to push every one of Shizuo's damn buttons.

  
Izaya turned back to him with his left hand on his hip, though there was pain behind the cocky smirk that he slid across his face, and he wasn't gripping his hip like he normally would, simply resting the back of his hand against the bone. It struck Shizuo as suspicious and odd. "Do you think we can wrap this up, Shizu-Chan? I have work to do, I can't afford to play your simple-minded games."  
That did it.  
Shizuo let out an annoyed yell, jolting his arm up and taking the slide with him, tossing it in the direction of the raven. Izaya dodged this time, but barely, his left shoulder still catching on the cold metal pole of the slide, the jagged metal catching on the fabric of Izaya's fluffed jacket, tearing half of the sleeve off.  
Wine eyes widened when the black material fluttered to the ground, Izaya dropping his blade in favour of gripping his upper left arm, giving a short cry of pain, his frame shaking.  
Despite his thoughts, actions and speech, something felt off about what had happened to Shizuo, he stared with wide eyes at the vulnerable information broker, his body tense as he watched the logs and bark of the playground become gradually redder as blood spilled down Izaya's arm and between his fingers as the raven panted through the pain.  
Shizuo said nothing, staring wide eyed at Izaya.  
Izaya never showed his pain.  
Izaya never bled.  
Izaya never got injured.  
So, he didn't snap or shove when Simon stood between Izaya and him, proclaiming his usual 'fighting is no good, sushi is good, eat up good sushi'.  
But Shizuo barely heard him, watching with wide eyes around the burly Russian's body as Izaya stumbled to stand, casting an icy look back over his shoulder at Shizuo before he sprinted off in the direction of Shinra's apartment.  
And Shizuo let him, no longer feeling the rage that usually bubbled when he saw Izaya.

  
~~~

"What do you mean he hasn't been here? I saw him run here!" Shizuo growled at Shinra, the brunette medical student sighing in exaspiration as he attempted to describe the same thing to Shizuo that he'd said seven times already.  
"I'm telling you, he may have been running this way, but I haven't seen Izaya-Kun at all today."  
"You're fucking with me aren't you? He was hurt Shinra! Why the hell would he run near a damn doctor's house when he was hurt and not bother to go in?! Izaya's a fucking idiot but he's not that dumb Shinra!"  
Shinra's mouth twisted into a half grin.  
"That was dangerously close to you complimenting Izaya-Kun, Shizuo~"  
"Die in a hole, Shinra!" Shizuo scoffed, marching out onto the terrace where Celty was relaxing on one of the sunbeds after another stressful chase with the traffic police. He grumbled to himself as he reached into his pocket, hand closing around his box of American Spirits, tugging it out with his lighter, sparking up a cigarette. He calmed slightly at the bitter taste of tabacco on his tongue, eyes lowering behind his sunglasses before a poke to his back drew his attention. He blinked and turned around to see Celty holding her phone out to him.  
[Is everything okay, Shizuo?]  
He sighed faintly, frowning. "Celty, how long have you known Izaya for?"  
Celty paused for a moment, as if thinking before typing out her response.  
[I remember meeting him vaguely a few times when he and Shinra were in middle school, but I only really met him when they were high school students.]  
"And you see him a lot after we fight, right?" he frowned, earning a nod in response. "Has he ever... Shown that he was affected by the fights?"  
[Affected how?]  
"Have you ever seen him... Like bandaged or limping or anything like that?" Celty put a hand to the chin of her helmet as if confused by the question before typing on her phone again, holding it out to Shizuo again.  
[I can't say I've ever seen him injured before even after one of your fights]  
[then again, I could just not be being very perceptive, that or he hides it rather well.]  
Shizuo frowned, his gut turning with an uncomfortable feeling that he couldn't put his finger on as he stubbed out his finshed cigarette in the ashtray Celty had so kindly provided for just such instances.  
[Is there something else that's bothering you? Is it about Izaya?]  
The blond sighed, leaning against the railing as he told Celty about what he'd seen, Izaya using his right hand, his failed attempt to dodge Shizuo not once but twice, his reaction to his sleeve ripping, all the blood and the pained look on his face, ending with the look that Izaya gave him when Simon showed up before running to god knows where.  
[Izaya's left handed?] Celty seemed the most intrigued by this small detail and Shizuo blinked, taking off his sunglasses as the sun began setting.  
"You didn't know that? He always writes with and brandishes his knife in his left hand, so I guessed he was left handed, and I've seen him through the window of Russia Sushi a few times eating fatty tuna with his left hand to." Shizuo shrugged like this was common knowledge, but Celty seemed surprised.  
[I never noticed, I wonder if Shinra ever did when he was classmates with him?]

 

"Izaya-Kun left handed?" Shinra blinked, just as confused as Celty. "Really? I never noticed either, I've never seen him at Russia Sushi before either, I guess he liked fatty tuna then huh?" he said to Celty, who shrugged, shocked as much as the doctor was.  
"Speaking of, Shizuo, you seem oddly fascinated with Izaya-Kun today" Shinra hummed, leaning his head on his open palms, enjoying the way Shizuo bristled when the medical student said it, the blond standing with a scoff.  
"Not personal interest, if his dominant hand is hurt that just makes him easier to squash like the flea he is" he scoffed, grabbing his jacket and leaving the apartment with an indignant huff.  
_Not personal interest at all, so what if I know a bit about the flea? We've been trying to kill each other since we were 16 after all! Its only natural that I learned some shit along the way!_  
_But Shinra and Celty didn't..._  
_I wonder if that assistant chick Namie knows?_  
_Or even that mafia dude... Shiki or whatever?_  
_Maybe... Maybe I am the only one that knows..._

  
~~~

It was a peaceful week before Shizuo had the displeasure of seeing Izaya again, though when he did see him it was when Shizuo was stopping off at a convenience store at sometime after 11pm getting more milk, the raven haired broker stumbling down the street a few metres in front of Shizuo.  
The blond felt anger bubble inside him at the mere sight of the other man but it quickly died down when Izaya leaned on a streetlamp for a moment.  
He looked terrible, his fluffed jacket was nowhere to be seen, the flurescent lights outlining the shape of his thin arms, his left arm once again hanging just as limp as it was a week ago. The male looked thin and frail, like if Shizuo touched him, he'd break. Izaya leaned on the pole, panting faintly. His face was placid and covered in a thin sheen of sweat, like he'd been running. There were dark circles under his eyes and it looked like his hair hadn't been washed in days. Shizuo held back the urge to flinch at his appearance, though he watched a little more carefully, now having stopped in his tracks to observe the broker, as Izaya sunk down to sit on the cold concrete, his back pressed against the pole, holding his left arm and wincing faintly, eyes shut.  
Shizuo felt the same uncomfortable feeling screwing and twisting in his gut again, swallowing as he watched Izaya push himself painstakingly to his feet again, letting out a grunt of pain that echoed in the empty street, turning to walk again before he wobbled and fell to the ground, utterly out cold.  
Shizuo wasn't sure why his feet moved, why he jogged over to help Izaya up only to find that the smaller male was unconscious. He sighed, hoisting Izaya onto his back, cringing at the suffocating smell of blood on him, and walking back the way he'd came, back to his cramped, little apartment, unlocking it and pulling back the blankets, draping down a few towels to soak up the blood before lying Izaya on his bed, frowning at him and peeling the broker's black t shirt off him only to flinch and hiss.

  
Izaya's chest was littered in small scraped and burns, his form sickly thin, bones sticking out and stomach sinking in without the need for him to suck in a breath. Shizuo shuddered, turning his attention to his original focus; Izaya's left arm. He bit back the need to throw up with how much blood there was, dripping down his arm, wrist and chest, his whole left arm bathed red. The blond inhaled deeply only to cringe at the smell, before disappearing into the bathroom for a moment, coming back with a first aid kit and a basin full of water, a cloth slung over his shoulder.  
He rolled up his sleeves, deciding not to call Shinra in annoyance on what he knew the idiotic doctor would say, dipping the cloth in the warm water and beginning to gently clean off the blood from Izaya's arm, finding the cause to be several long, deep slash marks on his bicep, spewing blood down his arm. They looked recent, though at the edges of the wounds it looked like Izaya himself had attempted to stitch them closed, though something had jolted them open.  
Shizuo's hand paused on the cloth.  
He jolted them open, more than once too.  
He shuddered, feeling guilt in the back of his throat, swallowing it back as he dressed and wrapped the wounds, tending to the smaller burns and scrapes on his chest with antibacterial cream and burn ointment. He sighed, leaving the broker shirtless but removing the bloody towels, draping the blankets over the unconsious male and clearing everything up before going to the kitchen, refilling his glass milk bottles with the plastic 2 letre jug he'd gotten from the convenience store, thinking for a moment before placing one of the bottles on the bedside table beside Izaya's head, sighing and returing to sleeping on the couch.

  
~~~

Izaya woke in pain and, admititly, comfort. He grunted, eyes opening to see an eggshell-white ceiling with a few cracks in it. The blankets felt heavy on his tender skin as he sat up, looking around the room, eyes narrowing. He had no idea where he was, but he could hear the telltale running of a shower, cursing himself for letting his knife be robbed of him the previous night, his jacket lying in some alleyway torn to shreds.  
Nevertheless, he poised himself when the shower noise stopped, waiting to see who had brought him to this unfamiliar place. He winced when he felt an unpleasant tugging on his arm, blinking and looking to see that his wounds had been tended to, and aside from a splitting headache, he was... Feeling okay. He stared for a little too long, his body jerking when the bathroom door opened, Izaya's eyes widening when he saw the blond monster of Ikebukuro himself coming out, drying his hair with a towel, in normal trousers and a white t shirt, eyes lowered as he turned, blinking when he saw Izaya.  
"You're awake" he murmured, almost shocked, though he was expecting Izaya's tensed, wary reaction to waking up somewhere new.  
"You saved me?" Izaya's voice came out a little more high pitched than usual from the shock and Shizuo nodded.  
"You passed out in front of me and we were close to my place so I brought you here and fixed you up" he understood the hesitation in Izaya's eyes.  
"... Why?"  
"Because I didn't really want you to die in the street."  
"Why not?" Izaya gave a wry laugh. "No one would have cared and you'd finally be rid of me!"  
Shizuo frowned at this, sighing as he slowly came over. "Don't be an idiot, I don't care if you're my enemy, I wouldn't let anyone die in the street like a rodent."  
"Aren't I just as good as a rodent to you though?" Izaya snarled, on the defensive even more that Shizuo was closer to him, reeling away from him, the blond rolling his eyes.  
"Yeah, doesn't mean I'll let you die like one." He sighed, already 100% done with talking to Izaya so early in the morning. He hummed, picking up the bottle of milk on the bedside table, holding it out to Izaya, who rose a brow. "Milk?"  
Shizuo felt his ears burn with embarrassment. "Sh-Shut up! Whenever I was injured as a kid Kasuka would give me milk to drink! It made me feel better..." he muttered the last line, scoffing. "If you don't want it then fine!"  
"... I'll take it" Izaya's voice was almost too quiet for Shizuo to notice, the raven looking up at Shizuo with half amusement, half curiosity, taking the bottle with his right, undamaged hand, gulping down the milk with a blink, licking his lips. "Huh... It kinda does make you feel better..." he mumbled, eyes lowered.  
Shizuo shrugged halfheartedly, confused at why he was so content with such a docile atmosphere around his enemy, straightening up. "I made breakfast, how do you take your coffee?"

  
"You aren't trying to poison me are you?" Izaya narrowed his eyes as Shizuo rolled his, turning to the door and walking out with a 'bite me'.  
A few minutes of Izaya staring at the off-white ceiling and Shizuo came back with a tray of scrambled eggs, toast and an empty mug since Izaya still hadn't revealed anything, Izaya blinking and sitting up as Shizuo rested the tray on his legs. "You gonna tell me how you want your coffee now, flea?" Shizuo said gruffly, looking as Izaya stared down at the food in surprise. "What? Look it ain't no five star meal or anything but fuck I mean---"  
"Black..." Izaya murmured, not taking his eyes off the tray. "And sugarless..." Shizuo paused in what he was saying and blinked, nodding slightly and taking the mug from the tray, going back into the kitchen.  
He returned a moment later with the coffee, setting it on the tray to see that Izaya hadn't moved. He sighed faintly. "Look I seriously didn't poison it or anything, here, I'll even take the first bite" he offered, though Izaya shook his head.  
"No its just... I've never had breakfast in bed before, this is odd for me."  
That was a bit of a surprise to Shizuo, actually.  
"What like, you don't get that Namie chick to make you breakfast in bed or something?" He rose a brow, Izaya shaking his head.  
"Namie-San is more... My secretary yes, but I've never had her cook for me."  
"Why not?"  
"Because I feel like she genuinely would poison me."  
"That seems pretty fair."  
Izaya shrugged, poking at his eggs with his fork like he wasn't interested in them. Shizuo opened his mouth to quip at him before remembering Izaya's thin body, frowning faintly. He couldn't really get mad at Izaya for not eating when he probably couldn't stomach much as it is.  
So it genuinely surprised him when he took a bite of the eggs.  
He brushed back his tangled hair as he did so and Shizuo's eyes went to the plain silver rings he had on both index fingers. He'd had them on his hands every time Shizuo had seen him since they got out of highschool, though it never occured to Shizuo the reson why he wore them.  
"What's with the rings?" Shizuo decided to break the ice with the question. Izaya blinked around his fork, looking over at him with a brow raised.  
"Is that some tactical way for you to gain the upper hand?"  
"What? No that doesn't even make sense" Shizuo sighed. "For once can we both just not be assholes? You're hurt and I'm tired, can we be civil for a bit?"  
Izaya seemed to ponder this before shrugging. "Alright, I got them from my sisters, identical rings from identical siblings."  
"Mairu and Kururi right?"  
Izaya nodded and hummed faintly around his eggs and Shizuo stretched. "Never really heard you talk about them before."  
"I have no need to, they're their own people" the raven shrugged, eyes lowered as he sipped his bitter coffee.  
Shizuo blinked, shruggig slightly. "I guess..."  
"Besides" Izaya hummed, licking his lips. "It's not like Shizu-Chan talks about his brother very often" he shrugged. Shizuo blinked and frowned.  
"How did you know I have a brother?" he questioned, Izaya turning and deadpanning at him.  
"1. I'm an information broker, Shizu-Chan, I know information" he rolled his eyes. "And 2. Hanejima Yuhei? Anyone can see through that alias if you know Kunyomi and Onyomi readings" he rolled his eyes again to punctuate his point, setting down his empty plate and mug with a sigh. "I... Thanks I guess, for the food and the help" his voice lowered to a mutter, looking away, obviously unhappy for having to thank Shizuo. The blond however just nodded at him.  
"Yeah no problem."  
"So what?" Izaya stretched. "Do we just go back to fighting tomorrow like always?" A cocky smirk formed on his lips and Shizuo found himself frowning at the suggestion.  
"I don't want to fight you anymore."  
The statement shocked the both of them, Izaya staring at him and blinking in surprise, Shizuo staring back in shock when he realized what he'd said. "Are you admitting defeat to me?" Izaya said almost incredulously, Shizuo sighing and shaking his head.  
"Like hell, I'm just saying... I'm sick of fighting you." He refused to admit to himself that it was because of how he'd hurt Izaya that he was so uncomfortable seeing him hurt again. His mind flashed back to when he was cleaning the blood from Izaya's unconscious body, how he felt over small raised scars from lacerations, how he brushed his fingers under the still not properly set bone in his shoulder, how he saw the evidence of Izaya stitching his wounds closed being torn apart by Shizuo himself.  
"Are you bored of me?" Izaya almost sounded offended and it threw Shizuo off guard.  
"What?"  
"Or have you found someone else to roughhouse with?" The raven said hotly, glaring at him.  
"Are you alright in the head? All I'm saying is that I'm done, Izaya" he sighed and the other male frowned, nodding slowly and standing from the bed with a wince.  
"Alright then" he said with an odd distance to his voice. It made Shizuo uncomfortable to hear, so he frowned at the sound of it. Izaya tugged on his shirt with a wince and pulled on his shoes. "Thanks again" he muttered before turning and walking out of the apartment. Shizuo blinked, staring at the empty tray, replaying the prior scene in his mind. Had he somehow offended Izaya? With how cryptic that bastard could be, it wasn't exactly unlikely. He frowned and grabbed his keys and phone, heading out to work.

  
~~~

A whole month later, Shizuo hadn't seen Izaya at all, he hadn't seen him since he left his apartment that day. He wanted to consult Shinra to see if he knew anything, but unfortunately Shinra had taken Celty out god knows where on his day off, so the apartment was locked and deserted, so Shizuo went to the next best bet to get answers on the crypic little fuck known as Orihara Izaya:  
Russia Sushi.  
Okay, so maybe he wasn't the best place to start, but it was soemthing at least, it the rare times he's seen Izaya here, he'd always been speaking carefree in fluent Russian to Simon and Dennis. He sighed, sitting down at the counter, Dennis watching him. "What can I getcha, Shizuo?" he hummed, slicing tuna. It took Shizuo one look before it blurted from his mouth.  
"Fatty tuna."  
Shizuo blinked, that wasn't his usual order, though Dennis nodded, beginning to prepare what he was 90% sure was Izaya's favourite type of fish. Simon gave a smile and sat a cup of green tea in front of the blond. "Fatty tuna good for you yes?" he hummed in his usual broken Japanese. "Izaya comes here often for it, never gets tea though, prefers bitter drinks."  
Shizuo nodded slightly at the information, finding it interesting that he didn't even have to ask for it.  
"Izaya's Russian is very good" Simon mused, assisting Dennis in preparing the tuna.  
_Golden chance._

  
"What do you guys normally talk about in Russian?" Shizuo asked, it was a normal question, nothing that would arouse suspicion that he was concerned for the raven. Dennis shrugged. "Whatever's on our mind at the time, lots of stuff." Shizuo sighed faintly at the non descriptive answer, Dennis placing his order of fatty tuna in front of him. Shizuo blinked down at it and took a bite, blinking. He didn't think that Izaya of all people would like things like this, before he first saw Izaya at Russia Sushi he would have trouble imagining Izaya eating seafood at all.  
Shizuo blinked and swallowed his food in realization.  
The first time he saw Izaya at Russia Sushi was the first time he'd ever seen Izaya eat anything. The longer he thought about it, the more he realized that he knew almost nothing about Izaya. He frowned faintly. It felt a little unfair that in the 10 years they'd known each other Shizuo knew nothing about him. He was still frowning when he stood up and paid the bill for his food, still frowning as he walked across Ikebukuro, still frowning even when he reached the door that he wanted, ringing the doorbell.  
"One second!" The impatient voice came before the door opened to reveal Namie Yagiri, her eyes narrowed. "Oh, it's just you."  
Shizuo resisted the urge to slap her for that, though he wasn't into the habit of hitting women for any reason. "Hey... I need a favour" he sighed, nodding at her.  
"What is that?" She sighed, tilting her head. Shizuo sighed, swallowing his pride.  
"I want to know about Izaya."  
"Izaya?"  
"Yeah, just... Any random details."  
He felt a little foolish standing there, though Namie just sighed. "Okay, well his birthday is the 4th of May and he occasionally writes poetry" she hummed, "but that's really all I know about that asshole."  
"Good start... Thanks Namie" Shizuo nodded, turning around again and leaving.  
_Starting out pretty basic._  
"He loves cats, but he hates dogs... Hmmm He doesn't really like sweet things and likes his coffee as black as his personality" Shizuo had saught out a girl named Mikage next, he wasn't really sure how the two knew each other, but he knew they had been close at some point.  
Pretty good...  
The last people he visited were Mairu and Kururi Orihara, if anyone knew about Izaya, it would be his sisters, and even then, they didn't have much on him.  
"Let's see... He's ticklish though he'll stab you if you try and tickle him, his favourite food is fatty tuna, he can't cook in the slightest" Mairu hummed, listing on her fingers.  
_This was the right place to come._  
"Oh and he takes medication to stop his hallucinations, he starves himself, he has chronic insomnia and depression and he drinks himself unconscious at least twice a month" she hummed, her voice not wavering, though Shizuo felt a pang of hurt in his chest that he couldn't describe.  
"And I guess last but not least he said he was leaving Ikebukuro because there was nothing left for him here." She shrugged.  
Shizuo's eyes shot wide, pulling the two girls to his chest for a brief second. "Thanks girls!" he said hurridly before turning and sprinting away from the pair and the apartment, and Ikebukuro itself.

~~~

  
_"... To stop hallucinations..."_  
_"... Chronic insomnia..."_  
_"... Starves himself..."_  
_"Nothing left for him in Ikebukuro."_  
By the time Shizuo had actually gotten to Shinjuku it was nighttime, Shizuo running up to Izaya's unnecessarily spacious condo, panting as he bashed at the door. Recieving no answer wasn't something Shizuo was going to accept today, backing up a moment before he rammed the door open, wincing slightly at the sound of metal locks scraping on metal. He panted, eyes darting around the condo before he noticed the light on upstairs, in Izaya's bedroom. It astonished him that the raven didn't hear his loud entrance, not that he cared right now, sprinting upstairs and slamming the bedroom door open to find that it had indeed been cleaned out, the only remaining in the room was the bed in the centre of the room (not that Izaya was much of a decorator anyways), and the raven haired boy that lived there sitting on the bed, looking out the window.  
"Izaya--"  
"Shizu-Chan..." Izaya turned around and faced Shizuo, standing and swallowing. Shizuo took a step back as he looked at him. Had Izaya always looked so... Weak? Had he always had those dark rings under his eyes? Had he always reaked of blood and whiskey?  
Yes. The thought occured to him. yes he had, it's just that Shizuo never cared to pay any attention to the boy behind the mask that annoyed him so much, he never payed attention to who his enemy really was, just the things that he did.  
"Why are you here?" Izaya frowned. "You wanted me to stay out of Ikebukuro didn't you? And you don't want to fight me anymore, so why are you here in Shinjuku, deliberately seaking me out when you want nothing to do with me anymore?"  
"Izaya you..." Shizuo breathed, eyeing how Izaya had taken out his knife, though he no longer feared Izaya hurting him with it, he didn't care if Izaya cut him, if he stabbed him. He was more afraid of Izaya himself, that Izaya would turn that blade on himself like the twins had told him he did.  
"Those wounds I fixed up..." Shizuo swallowed thickly at the look in Izaya's eyes. "You made them, didn't you?"  
"That has nothing to do with you..." Izaya hissed, though his right hand, the one holding the knife, drifted up to where the wounds on his left arm were still healing, gripping his long sleeved black shrirt sleeve tightly and looking away.  
"Izaya... You need help..." Shizuo swallowed, trying to be as cautious as possible with the volitile man.  
"Careful Shizu-Chan..." Izaya gave a bitter laugh. "It almost sounds like you care about my well being..."  
"I do" the information broker's wine eyes shot back over to look at Shizuo, eyeing his face for any trace of a lie, any movement of deception. Finding none, the boy was at a loss, trembling.

  
"Liar..." Izaya whispered, hand tightening on the knife, hands by his sides and head dropping. "You're such a liar... Nobody cares... Nobody cares if I leave Ikebukuro... Not you or Shinra or Celty... Not even Simon..." Shizuo inhaled, sighing faintly.  
"Fatty tuna huh?" He attempted, Izaya looking up with guarded eyes at the odd statement. Shizuo put his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "I went to Russia Sushi today, Simon mentioned how you like it so I tried it out, its not bad" he shrugged. "I still can't believe your obsession with bitter shit though" he rolled his eyes.  
"What do you know about me?" Izaya said hautilly, his eyes still guarded, though curious and even a little hopeful.  
"I know that you don't like dogs." Shizuo started, watching Izaya's grip weaken slightly on the blade. "But I know you like cats instead, I know your birthday, your favourite food, I know you can't cook so you go out for dinner almost every night... Or you did before you started starving yourself." Izaya flinched slightly, eyes narrowed.  
"So what? Everyone knows that!"  
Shizuo sighed, shaking his head. "I know you're ticklish, I know that you take medication for a lot of things... I know you hallucinate, Izaya. I know more about you than I ever thought I'd want to know."  
"Is this supposed to make me want to stay you asshole?! I don't care if you know me! You don't want to fight so I've lost the only real reason I go to that damn city!"  
Shizuo blinked.  
"You go there... Just for me?"  
"Go fuck yourself, Shizu-Chan... I don't care what you think you know about me, if you know all that bullshit then you should know that nobody in that town gives a shit about me."  
Shizuo frowned at how Izaya's hand had tightened on the knife again, stepping forward until he was flush against Izaya, the raven giving a terrified hiss, pressing the blade to Shizuo's throat, but at this point, the blond didn't care.

  
"I know that you're a liar. I know that I care about you." He breathed, watching wine coloured eyes widen, watching as Izaya looked up at him with hope he never thought he'd see on the raven's face. He sighed, pressing a hand to Izaya's soft and delicate cheek, smooth a beautiful like expensive china or porcelain. Leaning in closer, he felt Izaya's knife blade against his throat, but he couldn't care less, pressing his lips to the reddened lips of the man he'd realized he'd loved--not hated--for 10 full years. He felt Izaya shaking against him, felt him drop the knife and melt into the kiss, his body trembling as Shizuo pulled his lips away, moving to press them against the sharp line of Izaya's jaw, following his jaw and the line of his neck, hearing the other male's breath catch in his throat. "I know that you sleep on your left side" Shizuo breathed between kisses. "I know you've only eaten breakfast in bed once" another kiss and another choked gasp from Izaya. "I know that you hate having your feet under the covers, I know that you never take off your rings" two more kisses and a small whimper. Shizuo leaned his forehead on Izaya's delicate collarbone, eyes closed. "And I know that you're about to cry." He whispered, just in time for Izaya's shoulders to slump and shudder with small hiccups, the blond not looking at him, simply pulling him to his chest, stroking that mess of black hair, hugging him tightly.  
Just like he wanted to when they first met.

"I want you to make me a promise." Shizuo hummed, sitting in Izaya's large bathtub with Izaya in his lap, mashing his grimy black hair back to its usual soft, silky texture.  
"And what's that?" Izaya sighed, no condescending tone in his voice for once.  
"If you ever pull a knife on me again" Shizuo began in a hum, grabbing Izaya's left hand. "You'll use your dominant hand, and you wont put it to my throat..." He gently placed Izaya's hand to his heart so Izaya could feel the steady thumps of the man he once thought to be a monster.  
"You'll stab me here, where my heart is."  
He could see Izaya's eyes widen before he dropped his head, nodding faintly, hair over his eyes.

  
~~~

Three or so months later, Shizuo finds himself pinned to Izaya's bed, the raven himself straddling his lap with flushed cheeks. He was so much fuller than before, his arms and chest built up nicely and no longer skin and bone, his hair was soft and smooth and the area under his eyes was back to the same porcelain shade as the rest of his flesh, the male pulling off his shirt, the wounds on his arm having completely healed and no new ones having taken its place. "Izaya what are you doing?" Shizuo was slightly amused, if he wasn't twitching in his jeans he would probably laugh aloud, though he couldn't find the energy to do that when most of his blood was rushing south with every rock of Izaya's hips on his own.  
"I'm better now, you said you wouldn't fuck me until I was better."  
Shizuo almost dies.  
"You're acting like you're on heat you know that?"  
"On heat or not, you're going to fuck me today."  
"Do I get any say in this?"  
"Either fuck me or let me borrow your cock for a bit." Izaya was clearly getting more impatient, unzipping Shizuo's jeans and tugging them off, tossing them behind him and dragging his hips over Shizuo's again. The blond let out a gutteral groan at the sensation, shivering and gripping Izaya's hips hard enough to leave bruises in that perfect skin. Izaya gave a cocky grin, kicking off his own pants, rolling his only-underwear-clad dick against Shizuo's, both of them letting out a heated moan. Izaya bit his lip, his breath coming out a little shakier than normal, he was clearly worked up for this. Shizuo groaned, fumbling in the bedside table before pulling out a tube of lube, raising a brow at Izaya's embarrassed look.  
"Relax I don't want you to hurt" Shizuo hummed, Izaya shaking his head.  
"N... No I... I've already done it..." He murmured, small telltale splashes of lube on the back of his underwear. Shizuo felt the rest of the blood in his body shoot to his crotch with a low, husky groan.  
"Wish I could've seen that..." he murmured, only making Izaya's cheeks darken as he rocked against Shizuo again.  
"Maybe one day I'll give you a private show" he purred slightly, tugging his underwear off and pulling Shizuo's down just enough. Shizuo hissed slightly at the cold air, though it quickly melted into a groan when Izaya straddled him again rubbing his ass against his partner's crotch, the head of Shizuo's cock slipping between Izaya's cheek to rub at that slickened hole for a moment before Izaya bit his lip and sunk himself down, jaw slack and head tipped back.  
Shizuo cursed, gripping Izaya's waist, moving the shuddering, moaning male up and down to his will, Izaya letting him take advantage of the situation whlie he revelled in the feeling of being utterly full, Shizuo's cock filling him perfectly and caressing every good spot he had and some he didn't know he had.  
Izaya whimpered, arms around Shizuo's neck as they both sped up, unable to hold themselves back, rocking and thrusting until they both smashed their lips together, tensing and climaxing together.

  
~~~

"You're not going anywhere, you're sick, idiot."  
"Not that a protozoan like you could understand, but I have shit to do today."  
"I said no, you're not going out in your condition."  
Izaya gave a red nosed grin, eyes lowered, a cool pack on his forehead and bundled in blankets. "Careful Shizu-Chan~" he teased. "It almost sounds like you care about my well being~"  
Shizuo was getting sick of that line, but he couldn't help but smile faintly.  
"That's because I do you flea."  
"Yeah yeah, you love me and stuff I get it" the raven rolled his eyes, cheeks flushed, though he could easily blame the fever for that.  
"Yeah I do" Shizuo smiled, kissing Izaya's head.  
Izaya smiled faintly pulling the man down to lay beside him and putting his head on his chest, his left hand resting on Shizuo's chest over his heart, feeling the heartbeat of the man he once thought a monster.

**Author's Note:**

> So I edited this at least, hopefully it's not too terrible, I only just recently finished watching DRRR and I am utterly obsessed with this couple, they're just too interesting~  
> Let me know if there's anything you would like me to do in another fic.  
> ~ 星くせ銀


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